Thursday, November 24, 2005

"Over a coupla Great Lakes and through the woods...

...to Foxhouse Kate's we go! " OK, best friend, difficult nephews and troublesome others--you're gone, history. Make your own box of Stovetop. You too Iain. Maybe you can get a turkey haggis in Edinburgh. Maybe Denny's or the local IHOP will be open. I'm cooking for my FNC favorites. I'll play fair, and won't invite them all. Just an even exchange for you losers, but I get to still be me.

Hosting help and guest of honor (have fun on the golf course Iain!): if youve read my blog before, you already know that this chair falls to Brian Wilson. Brian, I'd love it if you could bring some of your special cornbread stuffing (make enough to share please), because you won't like my oyster version. I pick him because he looks like he's not too shy around a dinner table and strikes me as an affable guy, able to keep peace amongst the various guests. Also because I wear my Kiss the Cook apron on TDay.

Since Mom will be likely slouched on a sofa trying not to be miserable, I'm saving her share of the turkey for Martha MacCallum. Mom is always most concerned that everyone gets plenty to eat and is comfortable and happy, and Martha seems like she could do that. If Martha can't make it on short notice, I want Jane Skinner to be mom. She too seems to be a kind and caretaking soul, and I bet she'd bring an extra dessert.

I dont like Juliet Huddy much, partly because she reminds me of me in some of the ways I don't like about myself; she comes off as vapid, arrogant, vain and shallow. But she too seems fun-loving and self-assured, so I'm having her stand in for sis. I expect we'll argue and annoy each other, possibly throw a little food, and 'mom' will be embarrassed of both of us. We all three (I think) are real blondes, and are all that natural looking, cheerful, girl-next door type. However, both sis and I would kill to be as tall and long-leggedy as Juliet.

Mike Jerrick will be standing in for the bro-in-law, so he and Juliet will be comfortable together. Mike and bro-in-law are both sophisticated and polished, but slightly jaded and world weary types. A few too many wives and a few too many inhalations, as our illustrious erstwhile ambassador Joe Wilson likes to say of himself, applies here too. Like my family member, Mike probably works too little, parties too hard, flirts too often and grooms himself a bit too seriously. Loveable nonetheless.

My best friend will be played by Lauren Hill. Maybe because were both musicians, I feel a real affinity for Lauren Hill. She tends to be serious when everyone else is laughing riotously, but then toss out a one-liner that's over everyone else's head, and I bet she isn't afraid to help load up a dishwasher and kvetch about everyone else. I expect that her usually serious demeanor hides a subversive humor that rears its head when she's relaxed, so I'll make sure that either Brian or I keep her wine glass filled.

E.D. Hill is standing in for best friend's mom. E.D. seems absolutely competent: she'll be right to the minute about when the turkey is done, she'll carve the turkey herself is Brian isn't doing it properly, she'll know exactly how much flour to add to the drippings to make gravy and she'll tell you when the mashed potatoes have enough butter and salt. If you can't do it properly, she can and will. Just get out the way. Oh, and buy her book.

I call my older godson perfect boy. He potty trained himself, hes never sassed his mom in all of his 15.5 years, he's tall and handsome, he makes all A's even in honors classes, is president of the Robotics Club (really!), plays a super game of baseball, sings in his church choir (by choice!), plays the piano WELL, is a budding chessmaster and is planning to start up his own business this coming summer. And he has a sly, wicked sense of humor. I'm inviting James Rosen to fill in for perfect boy. He looks like he may have made more mischief than perfect boy, but he projects that all-round-nice-guy, menschy quality that my godson has.

The 12 year old godson will be played by Brian Kilmeade. I bet his mother could tell us plenty about his teenage problems, but he turned out AOK. Hes intelligent, cute, funny (of course theres that Man-Bag issue) and is a best selling author. Buy his book too.

The Rhodesian Ridgeback will be replaced by Steve Doocy's dog. I've chosen his dog, only because I can't remember anyone else mentioning one. Don't know what kind it is, but as long as Tallis will tolerate him, he'll do.

This is my fantasy replacement guest list. Will let you know how my day actually turned out.

Dont forget to be thankful. We all have a lot more than we usually remember to appreciate. Enjoy even your irritating family members-youll miss them when they're dead. Don't give turkey bones to the dogs, but make sure they get something special too (mine have already had popcorn). Put the leftovers away as soon as youre done eating. Help the hosts with a spot of cleanup duty before collapsing on the sofa.

A blessed Thanksgiving Day to all.
Posted by Kate :: 10:20 AM :: 0 Comments:   

Click Here to View or Post Comments

---------------------------------------